porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We are all done wearing pants today
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize