grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
