is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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