wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize