You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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