My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
