Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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