Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
