But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
