Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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