i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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