I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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