In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
