Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
