just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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