While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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