they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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