physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
