My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We smell like vodka and hangover
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
