I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
