What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize