I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
