it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
