Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
