I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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