So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize