ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
