I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
