its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
