You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
