I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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