DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize