I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
