just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
