belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Be still, my beating vagina.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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