My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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