he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize