so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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