please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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