I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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