i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
