my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize