Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
