hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize