I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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