Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
