I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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