Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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