I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
