More tranny stories later!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
