someone get that fucking seahorse.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
