Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
