Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
