You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
