im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
