i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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