My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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