Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
