By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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