he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
