Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
