Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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