I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
