Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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