Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
