Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My penis needs a shock collar
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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