I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
