Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
