found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My life is pants optional.
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