whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
