my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
